THE SAY IT SOONER WALL
THE SAY IT SOONER WALL
What leaders are carrying.
Real reflections from leaders who stopped, wrote it down, and said the thing they'd been holding. Anonymous. Updated as the wall grows.
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"I kept giving her more work because she never pushed back. I told myself it meant she was fine. She wasn't fine. She was just really good at not letting it show.
What I wish I had said: I keep coming to you because I trust you. But I've been watching and I think I've been taking advantage of that. Are you actually okay?"
"He'd been here eleven years. Everyone knew he had a ceiling; that one thing about how he communicated that was holding him back from the next level. His manager and I talked about it in every talent review; but nobody ever talked to him about it. He found out when he got passed over and couldn't understand why.
What I wish I had said: I want to have an honest conversation with you about something I think is getting in your way. It's not about your work. You up for that?"
HR DirectorWe had interns come through our accounting department from the local college. They stayed a short while and moved on. As I moved from direct supervision of the department I missed the opportunity to support one particular intern before he left.
What I wish I had said: I wish I had stopped by and complimented him on the work he was doing. Just telling him how important he was to our company.
Director of Finance
Wine Industry
"A peer had been taking credit for my ideas in meetings for months. Not overtly just enough that I questioned myself if I called it out. I never called it out. I kept telling myself I was above it.
What I wish I had said: I need to talk to you about what's been happening in our meetings. I don't think you're doing it on purpose but it's affecting how I show up with you."
Senior Leader - Financial ServicesI watched him give everything to this team for three years. Late nights, weekends, he never once complained. I kept thinking I'd find the right time to tell him what that meant.
He resigned on a Friday. I never found the time.
What I wish I had said: What you bring to this team every single day does not go unnoticed. Not by me. I should have said that a long time ago."
Director · Technology
HR Director"Three years. I never once told him out loud that he was exceptional. I figured the work spoke for itself, that he knew, that good people always know. He left on a Tuesday. In his exit interview he said he never felt seen here.
What I wish I had said: You are one of the best people I've worked with. I don't know why I never just said that."
Regional manager · Retail"My boss made a call I knew was wrong. I had the data. I had maybe ten seconds where I could have said something and I let them go because I didn't want to make her look bad in front of everyone.
What I wish I had said: Can I grab you for five minutes before we move on this? There's something I want to show you."
VP - Manufacturing"I knew my team was running on empty. I had a meeting with leadership where I could have said something, maybe pushed back on the timeline, asked for help, said what I was actually seeing. I gave them the update they wanted instead.
What I wish I had said: We're not okay. The pace is going to cost us people and I need you to hear that before it does."
I worked for the same person for three years. Not one written review. Just the occasional "I love the work you're doing" and nothing else.
What I wish I had said: Telling me you love my work isn't the same as telling me what you actually think of it.